Hello there (*don’t say General Kenobi, don’t say General Kenobi*) fellow hoops fans!
I’m Jacob, and I’m an avid NBA fan. With JSuttHoops, I’ll attempt to set aside my biases (with little success) to give you serious (somewhat) takes on what’s happening all over the NBA — among other things. JSuttHoops is where I unleash my unfiltered (yet it is reverse osmosis) thoughts, bringing you the scoops, mind-blowing highlights, and opinions that might make you laugh, cringe, or even shake your head in disbelief.
Right now, you can subscribe to get access to the newsletter and website. Never miss an update. Never miss an opinion. Or you can miss the opinions if you want to, it doesn’t matter to me.
And in my classic salesman voice I’m going to tell you, “But wait, there’s more!” Yes, by becoming a paid subscriber (for a monthly cost that is less than one order at Starbucks!) you get access to the entire archive and exclusive paid articles! Want to join in? Click the button below to become part of the tribe!
Here’s what you can expect from me:
Consistent analysis of EVERYTHING in the NBA
3 to 5 posts a week
A super special weekly news and rumor roundup, featuring my favorite Substackers’ pieces from the past week.
A chat for all subscribers to discuss the ins and outs of the game
Lots of pop culture references
Random and seemingly unrelated analogies that I somehow tie back to basketball, such as how nest parasitism is a microcosm of the Atlanta Hawks — yes, that’s a real analogy.
“Wait a minute, who are you?”
Oh, yeah. As I said, I’m Jacob (“hiiii Jacob”), and I’m:
A sportswriter (apparently)
Em dash obsessed — you know, that long dash next to the left of this sentence. You’ll see a lot of these in my articles. I’m unsure whether that’s a bad thing.
Parentheses obsessed (they are quite fun).
A college student
A web designer/full-service agency founder
An NBA analytics nerd who doesn’t know how to code
A serial researcher — did you know that you could (theoretically) slap a chicken at 3725.95 mph and it would be cooked in one slap? Did you notice I used an em dash and parentheses in that sentence? I know you went and looked back after I said that.
Lots of other little things that really have no bearing on this newsletter, except when I bring up random pop culture references from movies I’ve never seen yet have come across at some point in my life.
And that’s me! If you want to learn more about me, you can always email me at jsutthoops@substack.com. You could look at social media, but I must say I don’t keep up with all that as much as one would think, especially considering I’m a Gen Z guy. But hey, if you wanna see what I’m up to, you can follow me at @jacob_sutton05 on Instagram. No, I don’t have TikTok.
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Welcome to the tribe!
